Friday, September 16, 2011
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Day 163: On a Rainy Sunday
I am the only person in the showroom. If it wasn't for these huge glass windows, I'd be running around naked.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Day 142: Open House!
7/31/11 - 142 days without sale
We had an open house yesterday.
I attend open house events for the food.
But there is a rule in the office, no guest, no food.
Does that make me a starving artist?
Tomorrow, I will assist gay dude that keeps on calling me "bro" (don't ask...) with one of his sales. Basically, I will be driving him to command outpost code named Charlie's Hotel India to work on some checks for one of his buyers.
Like my previous entry takes note of, I do this type of thing so I don't feel so useless around the office.
Third week of August will be evaluations and will determine whether I continue with the company.
Chin up.
I attend open house events for the food.
But there is a rule in the office, no guest, no food.
Does that make me a starving artist?
Tomorrow, I will assist gay dude that keeps on calling me "bro" (don't ask...) with one of his sales. Basically, I will be driving him to command outpost code named Charlie's Hotel India to work on some checks for one of his buyers.
Like my previous entry takes note of, I do this type of thing so I don't feel so useless around the office.
Third week of August will be evaluations and will determine whether I continue with the company.
Chin up.
Friday, July 29, 2011
Day 140: The Project Is 90% Sold Out...
...and I'm feeling pretty useless around here.
 |
| Askar dari Malaysia. |
I've resorted to taking minutes of the meetings that we have around here and posting them on Facebook so that it seems like I'm doing work.
It seems to be appreciated but at the end of the day, the bosses in sales don't really give a fuck and a half about how you get your sales as long as they are there.
"You have a quota, boy!"
"I know ma'am."
"Remember, in sales, all that matter are results. Give me results!"
"Yes ma'am."
And that's that.
Sale or death.
I got myself a haircut yesterday (now I look like the douchebag I'm supposed to be) because new boss battle wants pictures of us so that he can put up an organizational chart in the office somewhere.
Just so you have an idea as to what's going on, here's kinda what the chart looks like.
Jesus
|
Super Big Boss Battle
|
Big Boss Battle
|
Boss Battle
|
Boss
|
n00b
-nothing follows-
My name is #0019
I. AM. N00B!
And my new haircut makes me look swanky.
The past week has seen a good number of Malaysians take a look at this little blog.
Apa khabar, pa?
Anda mau membeli kondo?
Apa itu? Tidak mau?
Menangis.
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Day 113: After a Long Silence...
I haven't been writing on here too much because I've actually been working...
To no avail.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Day 75: I'm Not Dead
I'm still here. But I get the feeling that my life in real estate sales is on life support.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Day 61: A Longer Post Chronicling Longer Day
0815hrs. Time to prepare coffee.
0847hrs. Somebody walked in and asked about the condos. Nobody else was at the front desk so I smiled the widest (insert name of reputable real estate development company here) smile I could.
Qualifying is important.
"I'm actually looking for a condo on behalf of my aunt"
The person that came in isn't the final decision maker.
1000hrs. I'm hungry. Nobody's coming in.
1128hrs. Lunch time. Chinese food. Again. I have to be back at the office at around lunch time so the guy I'm manning with gets to have some food too.
1228hrs. Back. Doing nothing. Let's play some Starcraft.
1328hrs. I'm waiting for a potential buyer. He said he'd visit the showroom today. So pumped.
This could be it.
Operation wild mangosteen plantation steal, here we come!
Emailed the Russians. They haven't gotten back to me. Could be because I'm saying too much.
1519hrs. Still waiting.
1635hrs. Waiting.
Helped the teammate I like the least not look like an idiot.
I should have taken that client.
1700hrs. My shift is officially over. Still waiting.
And waiting.
1800hrs. Waiting.
Assisted a broker.
1900hrs. Waiting. Playing Starcraft. Waiting.
2000hrs. You get the point.
2045hrs. Fuck it. Headed home.
An unintentional 13 hour shift.
Not getting paid anything extra.
2125hrs. The potential buyer didn't show up.
At least he had the decency to inform me.
At 9 in the evening.
2148hrs. Fuck. I have to send out sample computations.
Cramming time.
Its like college all over again.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Day 60: Promise for a Brighter Tomorrow
I'm stuck at the office tomorrow.
I'll write a longer entry then.
I promise.
I'll write a longer entry then.
I promise.
Friday, May 6, 2011
Day 56: The Office as a Mexican Soap Opera
I consider the team lucky to have the team lead that we do. She lets us be and doesn't question us. But if we do have a question, she's always there to help
With anything to do with work, she's always there to lend a hand.
During a closing sequence, token disgruntled guy broke protocol with one of the reservation documents. Team lead called him to to the back and had a word with him.
To which he replied with a rather forceful "no, you're wrong".
She wasn't.
When Mr. Client walked out to head to the bank, the yelling started.
He raised his voice.
Then she raised hers.
The incident ended with him telling her (literally translated) "It's too loud over there". Basically, the equivalent of saying "just shut the fuck up."
She stormed off.
As that's happening, he says for everybody to hear.
(I can't think of the literal translation) "Team lead thinks she knows everything. The idiot doesn't know shit."
Who does that?
Even if she was wrong, you tell the boss she's wrong nicely.
Give a level-headed, well-reasoned argument.
There was a realtor in the office asking some questions while all this was going down.
Not in front of guests.
Team lead calls for a meeting.
"It's that time of the month," tall cool guy tells me as we make our way into the meeting room (place where people sleep when the bosses aren't looking).
A very angry meeting.
A very angry hour-long meeting.
Token disgruntled guy gives a barely comprehensible defense of his undefendable position.
Some voices raised as team lead tells us that at the end of the day, she's still our superior.
"As your team leader, I deserve respect," she said, holding back her tears.
Their incident reports should be on the big boss' desk before Saturday.
Another guy also has to put together an incident report because of something that happened the other day while I wasn't at the office.
When asked to give my thoughts I tell the team that team leads over in the head office are evil. We're lucky that the ones here don't just give us a stack of flyers, a price list, a pat on the back and tell us "happy selling".
The ones here are actually helpful.
I don't have a sale but I like my chances for continued employment with (insert name of reputable development company here).
Team leads makes the employees' progress reports.
And in case any of you are wondering, no, I'm not from Mexico.
I don't think token disgruntled guy managed to close that sale.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Day 54: An Explanation
05/04/11 - 54 days without sale
If my day sucks, I'm less inclined to write here.
But then again, if my day is absolutely shitfuckingtacular (my word for suck-fest worse than total and absolute suckage), I write a whole lot.
Did I just fry your brain?
Good.
But then again, if my day is absolutely shitfuckingtacular (my word for suck-fest worse than total and absolute suckage), I write a whole lot.
Did I just fry your brain?
Good.
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Day 51: The First Thing to Go is Your Ego
Oh shit. He broke character.
A friend called asking if he would do well with real estate sales.
I had to give that question a good deal of thought because it forced me to look at what I do for a living and evaluate not only his chances of hacking it in this industry but my own situation in it.
The first thing to go is your ego.
Remember the first time a person with whom you were deeply infatuated turned you down?
Remember the second time something like that happened?
Do you remember how it felt?
I get that every day.
"I don't think we're ready to make an investment in one of your condos."
"While tempting, I really don't have the money to buy a condo right now."
"I'm sorry, but I don't think this is right for me at this point in my life."
Then there's manning the booth.
Once you step into the booth at the mall, you instantly become among the most invisible people in the building.
Honestly, nobody notices as you try to smile and give passers by your flyer in the hope that they will find interest in what it is you're trying to sell. Here is the link to a previous entry highlighting this experience.
Then they say you hold your own time.
That's a lie.
Well, sort of.
If you're one of the in-house salesfolk and the boss says you have to be at the showroom from 8am to 5pm, you have to be there.
Then as you're leaving, if the boss says you have to be at a booth to hand out flyers from 10pm to 2am the next morning, you have to be there even if you pulled a full 8 hour shift.
Then you have to be at the showroom at 8am again.
If a client calls at 5:30 in the morning, you have to wake up and sound like you didn't just wake up.
If a client tells you that you have to email a sample computation in the next ten minutes, it doesn't matter that you're on vacation, you have to find an internet connection.
If a client calls you on Labour Day, it doesn't matter that the government says you're on holiday.
You have to work.
I take pride in the fact that nobody sees me visibly stressed out about anything. In fact, the guy that gave me a call said that he's only seen me stressed out once. After a 10 or so page philosophy term paper.
But now, the stress shows.
My eyebags are bigger and I snap much easier.
Writing as #0019 helps me cope.
That being said, it can be financially rewarding.
Very financially rewarding.
But is it worth it?
Also, the awesome people I've met while out in the booth or making client calls and getting myself out there makes it fun if you're that type of person.
I enjoy it.
But is it worth it?
Remember the first time a person with whom you were deeply infatuated agreed to be exclusive?
That's how it feels to have somebody commit to a sale.
But is it worth it?
The first thing to go is your ego.
But if you think its worth it, who needs an ego anyway?
 |
| Sales. |
A friend called asking if he would do well with real estate sales.
I had to give that question a good deal of thought because it forced me to look at what I do for a living and evaluate not only his chances of hacking it in this industry but my own situation in it.
The first thing to go is your ego.
Remember the first time a person with whom you were deeply infatuated turned you down?
Remember the second time something like that happened?
Do you remember how it felt?
I get that every day.
"I don't think we're ready to make an investment in one of your condos."
"While tempting, I really don't have the money to buy a condo right now."
"I'm sorry, but I don't think this is right for me at this point in my life."
Then there's manning the booth.
Once you step into the booth at the mall, you instantly become among the most invisible people in the building.
Honestly, nobody notices as you try to smile and give passers by your flyer in the hope that they will find interest in what it is you're trying to sell. Here is the link to a previous entry highlighting this experience.
Then they say you hold your own time.
That's a lie.
Well, sort of.
If you're one of the in-house salesfolk and the boss says you have to be at the showroom from 8am to 5pm, you have to be there.
Then as you're leaving, if the boss says you have to be at a booth to hand out flyers from 10pm to 2am the next morning, you have to be there even if you pulled a full 8 hour shift.
Then you have to be at the showroom at 8am again.
If a client calls at 5:30 in the morning, you have to wake up and sound like you didn't just wake up.
If a client tells you that you have to email a sample computation in the next ten minutes, it doesn't matter that you're on vacation, you have to find an internet connection.
If a client calls you on Labour Day, it doesn't matter that the government says you're on holiday.
You have to work.
I take pride in the fact that nobody sees me visibly stressed out about anything. In fact, the guy that gave me a call said that he's only seen me stressed out once. After a 10 or so page philosophy term paper.
But now, the stress shows.
My eyebags are bigger and I snap much easier.
Writing as #0019 helps me cope.
That being said, it can be financially rewarding.
Very financially rewarding.
But is it worth it?
Also, the awesome people I've met while out in the booth or making client calls and getting myself out there makes it fun if you're that type of person.
I enjoy it.
But is it worth it?
Remember the first time a person with whom you were deeply infatuated agreed to be exclusive?
That's how it feels to have somebody commit to a sale.
But is it worth it?
The first thing to go is your ego.
But if you think its worth it, who needs an ego anyway?
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Day 50: Recovery
04/30/11 - 50 days without sale
Did 13 hours yesterday.
Got out of the office at 1700hrs.
Then did booth work from 2200 - 0230 the next day.
The 5 hours in between was to prepare.
Spent most of today in bed recovering and watching Starcraft.
Did 13 hours yesterday.
Got out of the office at 1700hrs.
Then did booth work from 2200 - 0230 the next day.
The 5 hours in between was to prepare.
Spent most of today in bed recovering and watching Starcraft.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Day 48: Nothing Really Happens Here
04/28/11 - 48 days without sale
0653hrs. The boss called for a meeting at 0900hrs. Probably going to talk to us about how we are always late or never clock in at the end of the day.
0937hrs. Meeting time. Yeah. Fucked. Like Mario says, here we go.
And after the meeting, nothing really happened.
So here's nothing.
Yep.
Nothing.
I want pizza.
2103hrs. Big boss called for a meeting at 0900hrs tomorrow.
Poop.
0937hrs. Meeting time. Yeah. Fucked. Like Mario says, here we go.
And after the meeting, nothing really happened.
So here's nothing.
Yep.
Nothing.
I want pizza.
2103hrs. Big boss called for a meeting at 0900hrs tomorrow.
Poop.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Day 47: Same Shit, Brand New Day
04/27/11 - 47 days without sale
0816hrs. Welcome back to the workplace, I tell myself after the smashing un-success that was project undisclosed project project in a Muslim country somewhere in the world.
I'm Late.
I feel my job security slowly slipping away being one of the few people in this place with no sale after a month.
0921hrs. Followed up some of the people that inquired earlier this month.
Also working on the deal with the Russians and hopefully getting to make contact with the Japanese.
Then the Koreans.
Then the universe.
Yep, I'm a regular citizen of the world, aren't I?
1126hrs. With the advent of the global economy and the proliferation of the internet, the scope and means of the modern salesperson with a strong international background ought to be massively massive. Like WoW, only in 3D.
We're meant to capitalize on web 2.0 and the benefits one can derive from the metaphorically smaller world.
I'm still broke as shit.
Lunch time.
1432hrs. Got the briefing for a new mission. Operation wild mangosteen plantation steal. Trust me, this would be funnier if I could explain it.
But at the risk of risking the integrity of (insert name of reputable development company here at your convenience), all I can say is that this involves a condo and some wild mangosteen.
Sounds like a party.
1804hrs. After the whole fiasco from yesterday (link here), I've been slowly losing interest in the work that I do. I'm second guessing myself. I hate doing that.
Maybe things will get better if I fight for the aforementioned sale and end up winning.
In theory, I guess I still love what I do but when it comes down to practice, is this a hazard of the job?
I guess so.
Chin up.
Where does #0019 end and I begin?
Is this my slow descent into insanity?
You get to see it unfold on the blog.
Lucky you.
 |
| Borrowed from www.theblogofrecord.com |
I'm Late.
I feel my job security slowly slipping away being one of the few people in this place with no sale after a month.
0921hrs. Followed up some of the people that inquired earlier this month.
Also working on the deal with the Russians and hopefully getting to make contact with the Japanese.
Then the Koreans.
Then the universe.
Yep, I'm a regular citizen of the world, aren't I?
1126hrs. With the advent of the global economy and the proliferation of the internet, the scope and means of the modern salesperson with a strong international background ought to be massively massive. Like WoW, only in 3D.
We're meant to capitalize on web 2.0 and the benefits one can derive from the metaphorically smaller world.
I'm still broke as shit.
Lunch time.
1432hrs. Got the briefing for a new mission. Operation wild mangosteen plantation steal. Trust me, this would be funnier if I could explain it.
But at the risk of risking the integrity of (insert name of reputable development company here at your convenience), all I can say is that this involves a condo and some wild mangosteen.
Sounds like a party.
1804hrs. After the whole fiasco from yesterday (link here), I've been slowly losing interest in the work that I do. I'm second guessing myself. I hate doing that.
Maybe things will get better if I fight for the aforementioned sale and end up winning.
In theory, I guess I still love what I do but when it comes down to practice, is this a hazard of the job?
I guess so.
Chin up.
Where does #0019 end and I begin?
Is this my slow descent into insanity?
You get to see it unfold on the blog.
Lucky you.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Day 46: Something Completely Different
 |
| Here's how sales works. |
Instead of complaining about the tremendous amount of fail in project undisclosed project project, something completely different.
Sales is about establishing, building, and maintaining relationships.
A few days ago, I got a call from a good friend of mine from college. He was in a lower batch. From the same hometown studying in the big city. He ended up running in the same crowd that I did so I made it part of my personal mission to make sure he didn't do anything too stupid while away from home.
I consider my group of friends from college pretty tight and he's an integral part of that group.
Hell, I wrote and recorded an entire album for them as a Christmas present. His song was track 11.
He told me that his parents were interested in an investment in a condo or two. So I asked when they would like to head over to the showroom.
He told me that they wanted me over for breakfast the next day, to which I gladly obliged.
The breakfast went really well.
"My son here convinced me to take you as our broker," the dad said.
Sales is about establishing, building, and maintaining relationships.
I did my presentation, talked them through some of the available financing schemes, and gave them an overview of the available discounts that I can give. They seemed really interested and requested for sample computations.
At the end of it, I got them to validate a little piece of paper saying that I would be the person to handle the sale, should they decide to purchase from us.
After the presentation, I went to the office and started preparing sample computations to send over. When that was done, I printed them out and personally made the delivery to their house, leaving them with their son.
Sales is about establishing, building, and maintaining relationships.
On my way home, I got a call from the other team leader telling me that the account should belong to their team. One of them did, after all, entertain the family as walk in clients the day before. They also signed the little form noting the other team's service, thus acknowledging that they should be the rightful recipients of the sale.
Because of a little piece of paper signed a day before, the other team is telling me to back off from making the sale to the family of a guy I spent a good number of years of my life taking care of.
If this were any other client, I would have let it pass but I've invested too much of myself in my friendship with their son to even consider not giving them the best goddamed service and buying experience that I can offer.
Sales is about establishing, building, and maintaining relationships.
If the company rules that in sales, a little piece of paper trumps years of friendship, here's my resignation.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Day 37
04/12/11 - 37 days without sale
Maintaining strict radio silence as required by project undisclosed project project.
You didn't hear that from me.
What's that?
You didn't hear what from whom?
Nobody?
Good.
Maintaining strict radio silence as required by project undisclosed project project.
You didn't hear that from me.
What's that?
You didn't hear what from whom?
Nobody?
Good.
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Day 34
04/09/11 - 34 days without sale
1229hrs. I get to go into the trenches at 1500hrs today. More sleep.
1518hrs. At the showroom. Open house today. This means a lot of brokers and agents and the such. We mere in-house people don't stand a chance.
2029hrs. I was just given a briefing by the sales head on project undisclosed project. For a briefing, it was pretty long. So much paperwork to be taken into consideration. A checklist for this, a checklist for that, and a checklist to make sure the checklists have been checked. For an undisclosed project project, there's an awful lot being told to me.
Apparently, I have to close a fuckshitload of deals. Or else.
That's all I can say.
When the classified is declassified, I will disclose the undesclosed to you, dear reader.
2118hrs. I think I can sneak out of the office.
2119hrs. Shhh.
2200hrs. Project undisclosed project is a go. T-minus 4 days.
I sound so pro.
 |
| Walking in |
1518hrs. At the showroom. Open house today. This means a lot of brokers and agents and the such. We mere in-house people don't stand a chance.
2029hrs. I was just given a briefing by the sales head on project undisclosed project. For a briefing, it was pretty long. So much paperwork to be taken into consideration. A checklist for this, a checklist for that, and a checklist to make sure the checklists have been checked. For an undisclosed project project, there's an awful lot being told to me.
Apparently, I have to close a fuckshitload of deals. Or else.
That's all I can say.
When the classified is declassified, I will disclose the undesclosed to you, dear reader.
2118hrs. I think I can sneak out of the office.
2119hrs. Shhh.
2200hrs. Project undisclosed project is a go. T-minus 4 days.
I sound so pro.
Friday, April 8, 2011
Day 33
04/08/11 - 33 days without sale.
0724hrs. Not feeling too well. But I have to prepare for negotiations with the Russians.
I think I may have said too much.
1814hrs. Yeah. Kinda sick. My stomach.
I think I may have said too much.
 |
| Pop culture reference! |
I think I may have said too much.
1814hrs. Yeah. Kinda sick. My stomach.
I think I may have said too much.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Day 32
04/07/11 - 32 days without sale
So it looks pro, I encourage everybody to abbreviate this blog to TVLH.
0914hrs. Team lead still hasn't arrived yet. I'm inspired to work.
I have no idea what we're going to do today. Probably field.
I received an email from big boss battle regarding a mission in an undisclosed place slated for an undisclosed time with an undisclosed number of operatives operating in the undisclosed operation.
I'm being considered for and undisclosed position in the undisclosed operation because of my undisclosed wealth of undisclosed knowledge of the undisclosed location that they refuse to disclose.
All I know is that it doesn't involve the Russians.
I think I may have said too much.
Buy air now and get a condo for free! (in two or so years)
1124hrs. So. Hungry. Yeah. Let's have lunch. Lunch is good.
1326hrs. Meeting with undisclosed party (is it the Russians or big boss battle? The plot thickens.)
1638hrs. Just got back from the meeting.
Team got into trouble because a client wasn't entertained properly. I wasn't there at the time but I'm still somehow involved. That's the way shit goes down in the real world apparently. If I were there, I would have entertained the shit out of that orphan. A song and dance number with fireworks and acrobatic contortionist elephants. I would have done that. Really.
1730hrs. Home. Coffee. Starcraft. Congratulations to Moletrap for his GSL gig.
Waiting for Nuke the Stars to release another video.
1800hrs. Sample computation time. As a sales person, one needs to know the numbers like nothing else. Its what everybody asks. I'd like to think I have it down. The numbers. Damn the numbers.
*cringe*
My laptop is my weapon and Microsoft Office is my ammo.
1825hrs. So numb. Nothing witty to say.
Ten points to anyone that says something funny.
Until next time.
Excelsior.
 |
| Golden Boys |
0914hrs. Team lead still hasn't arrived yet. I'm inspired to work.
I have no idea what we're going to do today. Probably field.
I received an email from big boss battle regarding a mission in an undisclosed place slated for an undisclosed time with an undisclosed number of operatives operating in the undisclosed operation.
I'm being considered for and undisclosed position in the undisclosed operation because of my undisclosed wealth of undisclosed knowledge of the undisclosed location that they refuse to disclose.
All I know is that it doesn't involve the Russians.
I think I may have said too much.
Buy air now and get a condo for free! (in two or so years)
1124hrs. So. Hungry. Yeah. Let's have lunch. Lunch is good.
1326hrs. Meeting with undisclosed party (is it the Russians or big boss battle? The plot thickens.)
1638hrs. Just got back from the meeting.
Team got into trouble because a client wasn't entertained properly. I wasn't there at the time but I'm still somehow involved. That's the way shit goes down in the real world apparently. If I were there, I would have entertained the shit out of that orphan. A song and dance number with fireworks and acrobatic contortionist elephants. I would have done that. Really.
1730hrs. Home. Coffee. Starcraft. Congratulations to Moletrap for his GSL gig.
Waiting for Nuke the Stars to release another video.
1800hrs. Sample computation time. As a sales person, one needs to know the numbers like nothing else. Its what everybody asks. I'd like to think I have it down. The numbers. Damn the numbers.
*cringe*
My laptop is my weapon and Microsoft Office is my ammo.
1825hrs. So numb. Nothing witty to say.
Ten points to anyone that says something funny.
Until next time.
Excelsior.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Day 31
05/06/11 - 31 days without sale
0702hrs. Our team lead sent us an email saying that we all have to meet this morning. Apparently, there are "issues to be discussed". I hate it when people say that kind of thing.
Today marks the 31st day I joined up fighting this pointless battle.
I feel like Alan Alda. 10 points to anyone that gets the reference.
1029hrs. Morning briefing just ended. The issues discussed are about who gets credit and commission for the sales that come in given some of the things that went down yesterday. In this business, I guess ground rules really do have to be laid down. Especially if there's more than one team in competition.
Not that any of it really applies to little old sale-less me.
In the field again today. Which means I'm gonna keep on getting a steady stream of nos and get the fuck away from mes. I'll get used to constant rejection.
I promise.
Do you accept the promise? (Think of your answer very carefully).
1321hrs. Just met with some Russians.
I think I may have said too much.
2034hrs. The computer is being slow. I'd write out a lot more but even my trusty computer thinks sales people aren't worth the time.
Fuck you technology.
Fuck you.
2054hrs. I hope this manages to get posted and the world will be able to read my story.
 |
| Russian soldiers in Hungary Courtesy of UCLA |
Today marks the 31st day I joined up fighting this pointless battle.
I feel like Alan Alda. 10 points to anyone that gets the reference.
1029hrs. Morning briefing just ended. The issues discussed are about who gets credit and commission for the sales that come in given some of the things that went down yesterday. In this business, I guess ground rules really do have to be laid down. Especially if there's more than one team in competition.
Not that any of it really applies to little old sale-less me.
In the field again today. Which means I'm gonna keep on getting a steady stream of nos and get the fuck away from mes. I'll get used to constant rejection.
I promise.
Do you accept the promise? (Think of your answer very carefully).
1321hrs. Just met with some Russians.
I think I may have said too much.
2034hrs. The computer is being slow. I'd write out a lot more but even my trusty computer thinks sales people aren't worth the time.
Fuck you technology.
Fuck you.
2054hrs. I hope this manages to get posted and the world will be able to read my story.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Day 30
04/05/11 - 30 days without sale
0714hrs. There is an event today for the sellers of (insert name of reputable development company here at your convenience). Not looking forward to that.
Not looking forward to to that boring affair at all.
I'll say I have a client meeting and disappear.
Shoutout to the fine men and women holding the front in Singapore. How is it there? Has there really been an increase of 3-5% in rentals this first quarter of 2011?
1543hrs. I actually have to be there for the event.
Fuck.
Stepped into the office. All the action is going on here. There is dissent in the ranks. Another turf war as to who gets the commissions and credit for the sale.
I shouldn't be listening in but the back and forth is fascinating. They're saying the same things over and over and over again.
"I assisted"
"But I followed up"
"But I assisted"
"But I followed up"
"But I assisted"
"But I followed up"
"But I assisted"
ad infinitum.
Scrap that. Its pretty boring as well.
1712hrs. The goddamned thing is finally over (both the event and the little skirmish in the office).
1700hrs. Why did I enlist again?
WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!?
*Pumps fist in the air*
The neighbors are looking at me funny.
I blush.
 |
| To counteract the boredom, a picture with landscape dimensions |
0714hrs. There is an event today for the sellers of (insert name of reputable development company here at your convenience). Not looking forward to that.
Not looking forward to to that boring affair at all.
I'll say I have a client meeting and disappear.
Shoutout to the fine men and women holding the front in Singapore. How is it there? Has there really been an increase of 3-5% in rentals this first quarter of 2011?
1543hrs. I actually have to be there for the event.
Fuck.
Stepped into the office. All the action is going on here. There is dissent in the ranks. Another turf war as to who gets the commissions and credit for the sale.
I shouldn't be listening in but the back and forth is fascinating. They're saying the same things over and over and over again.
"I assisted"
"But I followed up"
"But I assisted"
"But I followed up"
"But I assisted"
"But I followed up"
"But I assisted"
ad infinitum.
Scrap that. Its pretty boring as well.
1712hrs. The goddamned thing is finally over (both the event and the little skirmish in the office).
1700hrs. Why did I enlist again?
WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!?
*Pumps fist in the air*
The neighbors are looking at me funny.
I blush.
Monday, April 4, 2011
Day 29
04/04/11 - 29 days without sale
0729hrs. To those who play starcraft, coffee is a stim pack. Two shots. I'm so pumped. Let's go. We can do this. Make that sale.
0850hrs. Our sales head came in from the head office. So fucked. So so fucked. There goes the pumped-ness.
0915hrs. Meeting with the big boss battle guy. So so so fucked.
1013hrs. I need to talk to 200 prospects to close 1 sale. So so so so fucked. Apparently I lack confidence.
So now I'm pissed off. I want to punch a cow.
Sales head is pissed is region head gets the shit.
Region head passes the shit to the team lead.
Team lead passes the shit to us.
Mom is pissed at the iphone 4 so I get the shit.
Dad is pissed on the road so I get the shit.
My girlfriend is pissed so I get the shit.
2118hrs. Off to find a cow.
 | |
| Douglas MacArthur Biggest boss ever knowledgerush.com |
0850hrs. Our sales head came in from the head office. So fucked. So so fucked. There goes the pumped-ness.
0915hrs. Meeting with the big boss battle guy. So so so fucked.
1013hrs. I need to talk to 200 prospects to close 1 sale. So so so so fucked. Apparently I lack confidence.
So now I'm pissed off. I want to punch a cow.
Sales head is pissed is region head gets the shit.
Region head passes the shit to the team lead.
Team lead passes the shit to us.
Mom is pissed at the iphone 4 so I get the shit.
Dad is pissed on the road so I get the shit.
My girlfriend is pissed so I get the shit.
2118hrs. Off to find a cow.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Day 28
04/03/11 - 28 days later
I am a zombie.
Hear me groan.
I will now dub day 27 the lost day.
Day 27 is the lost day.
Nobody will know what happened then. It will be lost to time and the world will have to go on living not knowing what happened on #0019's 27th day with the company.
But nobody really gives a shit, right?
1155hrs. Sunday is rest day but some members of the team were assigned to be in the showroom today. Pushy new guy tried to get me to cover for him. On a Sunday.
No.
My Sunday is mine.
Because the whole sales thing hasn't been going my way as of late, something completely different.
1927hrs. My little workstation at home has a view of some of the other houses in our area and when I have downtime, I look at the neighbors in the houses across the street. Very "Rear Window", I know.
Anyway, this rich Korean family lives across the street and one of their daughters or nieces or whatever came to the country to learn how to speak English. Now it looks like she's fallen in love with the gardener, who I was able to gether from asking around, has a girlfriend he's living in with somewhere. Weird considering she fell in love with the last gardener they hired (he was fired because her parents didn't like the idea. And yes, he also had a girlfriend with whom he shared a living space with).
I should sell that girl a condo. She might be able to use it.
More details on that as they come.
Still no sale.
 |
| Lego Zombies! Taken from appius95's photostream Click the photo to see his Flickr. |
I am a zombie.
Hear me groan.
I will now dub day 27 the lost day.
Day 27 is the lost day.
Nobody will know what happened then. It will be lost to time and the world will have to go on living not knowing what happened on #0019's 27th day with the company.
But nobody really gives a shit, right?
1155hrs. Sunday is rest day but some members of the team were assigned to be in the showroom today. Pushy new guy tried to get me to cover for him. On a Sunday.
No.
My Sunday is mine.
Because the whole sales thing hasn't been going my way as of late, something completely different.
1927hrs. My little workstation at home has a view of some of the other houses in our area and when I have downtime, I look at the neighbors in the houses across the street. Very "Rear Window", I know.
Anyway, this rich Korean family lives across the street and one of their daughters or nieces or whatever came to the country to learn how to speak English. Now it looks like she's fallen in love with the gardener, who I was able to gether from asking around, has a girlfriend he's living in with somewhere. Weird considering she fell in love with the last gardener they hired (he was fired because her parents didn't like the idea. And yes, he also had a girlfriend with whom he shared a living space with).
I should sell that girl a condo. She might be able to use it.
More details on that as they come.
Still no sale.
Friday, April 1, 2011
Day 26
04/01/11 - 0 days without sale
SALE!
FUCK YEAH!
FAME AND FUCKING FORTUNE HERE I COME!
April fools.
I'm still broke as shit.
You probably saw that coming.
Let's start again.
04/01/11 - 26 days without sale
Stuck at the showroom until 2200hrs.
Fuck.
I apoogize wholeheartedly and unreservedly for having resorted to foul language and an April fools joke at an (arguably feeble) attempt at humour.
 |
| Wall Street after the end of WW2 |
FUCK YEAH!
FAME AND FUCKING FORTUNE HERE I COME!
April fools.
I'm still broke as shit.
You probably saw that coming.
Let's start again.
04/01/11 - 26 days without sale
Stuck at the showroom until 2200hrs.
Fuck.
I apoogize wholeheartedly and unreservedly for having resorted to foul language and an April fools joke at an (arguably feeble) attempt at humour.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Day 25
03/31/11 - 25 days without sale
0740hrs. I don't want to go out into the field today. There's nothing out there for me. Nothing. I just want to sleep.
1327hrs. I'm supposed to be in the field today but since I'm afraid of rejection, I'm at home having coffee.
Nowhere to go. Nobody to meet. I wanna be sedated.
Ten points to people that got the reference.
Gather points and win my calling card.
But for the cause, I will go out into the field and find me some clients. I must do this. It is my duty. To the company. To my country (damned income tax). To the two dogs I have to feed.
With some clever math, the price of a condo can look like the price of a condom.
Here's the breakdown.
---
Warning: Math ahead.
(All figures in US dollars unless otherwise stated)
70,000 dollars/15 years to pay = 4,667 dollars per year
4,667 dollars/12 months a year = 389 dollars per month
389 dollars/30 days in a month = 13 dollars per day
13 dollars/35 square meters = 40 cents per squar meter per day
(To the guy from Estonia that checked out the blog, I don't know if this is the right thing to say buy congratulations on the whole Eurozone thing earlier this year. Now I don't have to compute for kroon as well.)
Own a condo for as low as 40 cents!
Own a condo for as low as 50 (Singapore) cents!
Own a condo for as low as 28 euro cents!
Own a condo for as low as 18 (Philippine) pesos!
Own a condo for as low as 40 (Australian) cents!
Own a condo for as low as a 25 pence!
By having daily unprotected sex for the next 15 years, you too can own a condo!
A condom a day?
A condo for life.
 |
| BUY A CONDO! |
0740hrs. I don't want to go out into the field today. There's nothing out there for me. Nothing. I just want to sleep.
1327hrs. I'm supposed to be in the field today but since I'm afraid of rejection, I'm at home having coffee.
Nowhere to go. Nobody to meet. I wanna be sedated.
Ten points to people that got the reference.
Gather points and win my calling card.
But for the cause, I will go out into the field and find me some clients. I must do this. It is my duty. To the company. To my country (damned income tax). To the two dogs I have to feed.
With some clever math, the price of a condo can look like the price of a condom.
Here's the breakdown.
---
Warning: Math ahead.
(All figures in US dollars unless otherwise stated)
70,000 dollars/15 years to pay = 4,667 dollars per year
4,667 dollars/12 months a year = 389 dollars per month
389 dollars/30 days in a month = 13 dollars per day
13 dollars/35 square meters = 40 cents per squar meter per day
(To the guy from Estonia that checked out the blog, I don't know if this is the right thing to say buy congratulations on the whole Eurozone thing earlier this year. Now I don't have to compute for kroon as well.)
Own a condo for as low as 40 cents!
Own a condo for as low as 50 (Singapore) cents!
Own a condo for as low as 28 euro cents!
Own a condo for as low as 18 (Philippine) pesos!
Own a condo for as low as 40 (Australian) cents!
Own a condo for as low as a 25 pence!
By having daily unprotected sex for the next 15 years, you too can own a condo!
A condom a day?
A condo for life.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Day 24
03/30/11 - 24 days without sale
0700hrs. Gearing up for the dreaded 13 hour shift. It happened before and its gonna happen again. It's gonna be awful.
Got my payslip today. I was paid for 15 days of work.
03/30/11 - 15 days without sale.
0859hrs. Slow start. I made a Twitter.
http://twitter.com/VeryLongestHour
Follow me.
---
This
space
represents
the
time
I'm
spending
at
our
little
booth
in
the
mall
---
1941hrs. Managed to wiggle out of the booth early. Gave out flyers non stop. I hope they call and buy condos.
Gonna be serious for a while because I need to let this out.
So yeah, breaking character.
If there's one thing that work in sales is supposed to teach you, its humility.
I was at the mall earlier being as friendly as possible handing out flyers to people that passed by. High energy. Trying to do the whole beacon of light thing in an otherwise sick and dark world.
Then I came to my last flyer. Make it count. I saw this middle aged lady in corporate looking attire. Well made up. Wearing pearl earrings. Looked to be with her youngest daughter. Looked to be in a bit of a hurry so I wouldn't be able to have a little chat with her. But walking at a moderate enough pace such that she would accept the flyer.
I smiled and handed her a flyer.
"And if you have any more questions, my number is right here."
I pointed to my number on the flyer.
You probably have a vague idea as to what's coming next but I'll recount anyway.
After handing out that last flyer, I went out for a smoke. I saw the lady on the other side of the waiting area. She still had the flyer in her hand. Then, as her ride approached, she took a nervous look around, dropped the flyer on the floor, and stepped into the car pretending that she hadn't just littered.
It was funny because she looked just as guilty as a guy in the elevator that farted trying to look cool.
Heartbreaking, yes.
But you win some, you lose some.
It was the only one of my flyers that wasn't thrown on the ground. That's a good thing. I took a quick peek into the garbage cans, no flyers in there. At least the rest of them made it out of the mall.
It just sucks that I happened to see my last flyer littered. At least have the decency to throw it in the trash. Let the flyer die with honor.
Oh well. Here's to hoping somebody picks it up off the ground and gives me a call.
Not gonna fall back into character anymore.
Ending on a serious note is cool sometimes.
Thanks so much for your time and I hope to hear from you soon.
 |
| Courtesy of Corbis |
Got my payslip today. I was paid for 15 days of work.
03/30/11 - 15 days without sale.
0859hrs. Slow start. I made a Twitter.
http://twitter.com/VeryLongestHour
Follow me.
---
This
space
represents
the
time
I'm
spending
at
our
little
booth
in
the
mall
---
1941hrs. Managed to wiggle out of the booth early. Gave out flyers non stop. I hope they call and buy condos.
Gonna be serious for a while because I need to let this out.
So yeah, breaking character.
If there's one thing that work in sales is supposed to teach you, its humility.
I was at the mall earlier being as friendly as possible handing out flyers to people that passed by. High energy. Trying to do the whole beacon of light thing in an otherwise sick and dark world.
Then I came to my last flyer. Make it count. I saw this middle aged lady in corporate looking attire. Well made up. Wearing pearl earrings. Looked to be with her youngest daughter. Looked to be in a bit of a hurry so I wouldn't be able to have a little chat with her. But walking at a moderate enough pace such that she would accept the flyer.
I smiled and handed her a flyer.
"And if you have any more questions, my number is right here."
I pointed to my number on the flyer.
You probably have a vague idea as to what's coming next but I'll recount anyway.
After handing out that last flyer, I went out for a smoke. I saw the lady on the other side of the waiting area. She still had the flyer in her hand. Then, as her ride approached, she took a nervous look around, dropped the flyer on the floor, and stepped into the car pretending that she hadn't just littered.
It was funny because she looked just as guilty as a guy in the elevator that farted trying to look cool.
Heartbreaking, yes.
But you win some, you lose some.
It was the only one of my flyers that wasn't thrown on the ground. That's a good thing. I took a quick peek into the garbage cans, no flyers in there. At least the rest of them made it out of the mall.
It just sucks that I happened to see my last flyer littered. At least have the decency to throw it in the trash. Let the flyer die with honor.
Oh well. Here's to hoping somebody picks it up off the ground and gives me a call.
Not gonna fall back into character anymore.
Ending on a serious note is cool sometimes.
Thanks so much for your time and I hope to hear from you soon.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Day 23
03/29/11 - 23 days without sale
1117hrs. I'm starting to write this entry a little bit late today because the biggest boss of bosses [in this area (she still answers to a higher authority)] called for a meeting regarding our performance as a team. She says we suck. We suck really bad.
Apparently I lack confidence. I'm pretty confident. Look at me.
A full day stuck in the showroom awaits.
1550hrs. There's no privacy in this place. Twenty of us have to share five computers. So I bring my trusty laptop. But everybody uses it to check their facebook. I should install a keylogger to see what they type. Should be revealing.
Its hard to write with people looking over my shoulder.
Time to trudge through the internet and say that I'm prospecting. Hello readers. Want to buy a condo?
1736hrs. Idiots sitting next to me don't know how to google search. How to unblock an excel file. How to enable popups for google chrome. What color is an opal. How to make a word document landscpae. Its all on the internet. Searching for "how to unblock an excel file" will not lead you to a porn site. I promise.
I'm defacto tech support here.
Not bad for a liberal arts student.
1812hrs. Yeah. I'm still at the office. The boss is telling us to go the extra mile and stay beyond office hours in the hopes that somebody ends up walking in an taking a look around.
Then BAM! Closed.
Mr. Prospect won't know what hit him. Like a mortar to the nuts.
1900hrs. Home. Food. Tired.
2020hrs. Gonna prepare for what looks to be a 13 hour shift tomrorrow.
Good times.
Yeah.
 |
| Not me. Courtesy of nswiki.net. |
Apparently I lack confidence. I'm pretty confident. Look at me.
A full day stuck in the showroom awaits.
1550hrs. There's no privacy in this place. Twenty of us have to share five computers. So I bring my trusty laptop. But everybody uses it to check their facebook. I should install a keylogger to see what they type. Should be revealing.
Its hard to write with people looking over my shoulder.
Time to trudge through the internet and say that I'm prospecting. Hello readers. Want to buy a condo?
1736hrs. Idiots sitting next to me don't know how to google search. How to unblock an excel file. How to enable popups for google chrome. What color is an opal. How to make a word document landscpae. Its all on the internet. Searching for "how to unblock an excel file" will not lead you to a porn site. I promise.
I'm defacto tech support here.
Not bad for a liberal arts student.
1812hrs. Yeah. I'm still at the office. The boss is telling us to go the extra mile and stay beyond office hours in the hopes that somebody ends up walking in an taking a look around.
Then BAM! Closed.
Mr. Prospect won't know what hit him. Like a mortar to the nuts.
1900hrs. Home. Food. Tired.
2020hrs. Gonna prepare for what looks to be a 13 hour shift tomrorrow.
Good times.
Yeah.
Monday, March 28, 2011
Day 22
03/28/11 - 22 days without sale
0636hrs. I had a splitting headache last night and wasn't able to sleep until sunrise-ish. Let's see how well I do with an hour and a half of sleep.
0725hrs. On my second cup of coffee for the morning. I'll probably have another one when I get to work. Coffee is the breakfast of heroes from the free world. Tea is also pretty good. Can't forget the brave men and women over in Great Britain. And the folks over in Hong Kong where apparently they have their tea iced. Can't forget them.
你好! 我唔識講廣東話. Really. I don't.
As per the advice of sales guru Tom Hopkins, I looked in the mirror and said to myself, "I will close a sale today because I am a great salesman! Nothing and nobody is gonna bring me down!"
I'm getting fat.
0943hrs. I think youtube may have been blocked by the bosses over here. Now what am I supposed to do at the office? I tried to post an ad on an online classifieds page. It was denied. When the internet says no to you, you know that something is wrong. Its almost like being a salesperson is tantamount to being a people repellent. I will try to smell better tomorrow.
1445hrs. Client came in. Particularly stressful. Don't want to talk about it. Not the venue for angry rants. That's what talking to my dogs is for.
Out for a smoke.
1525hrs. I want to go home.
1613hrs. The boss kicking me out of the office. Apparently I should be in the field. What do I do with nowhere to go? A lot of my prospecting is done on the internet or over the cellphone. Maybe I should consider the whole punching somebody in the face thing. That seems viable. Or I could hang out at a coffee shop and watch people walk by.
1726hrs. Home.
So tired.
Falling aslee
 | |
| WW1 soldier peering out into no man's land Courtesy of The Daily Mail. |
0725hrs. On my second cup of coffee for the morning. I'll probably have another one when I get to work. Coffee is the breakfast of heroes from the free world. Tea is also pretty good. Can't forget the brave men and women over in Great Britain. And the folks over in Hong Kong where apparently they have their tea iced. Can't forget them.
你好! 我唔識講廣東話. Really. I don't.
As per the advice of sales guru Tom Hopkins, I looked in the mirror and said to myself, "I will close a sale today because I am a great salesman! Nothing and nobody is gonna bring me down!"
I'm getting fat.
0943hrs. I think youtube may have been blocked by the bosses over here. Now what am I supposed to do at the office? I tried to post an ad on an online classifieds page. It was denied. When the internet says no to you, you know that something is wrong. Its almost like being a salesperson is tantamount to being a people repellent. I will try to smell better tomorrow.
1445hrs. Client came in. Particularly stressful. Don't want to talk about it. Not the venue for angry rants. That's what talking to my dogs is for.
Out for a smoke.
1525hrs. I want to go home.
1613hrs. The boss kicking me out of the office. Apparently I should be in the field. What do I do with nowhere to go? A lot of my prospecting is done on the internet or over the cellphone. Maybe I should consider the whole punching somebody in the face thing. That seems viable. Or I could hang out at a coffee shop and watch people walk by.
1726hrs. Home.
So tired.
Falling aslee
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Day 21
03/27/11 - 21 days without sale
I called the boss today asking a question about the building.
The boss tried to sell me a condo.
Well, that's what the answer sounded like.
This was in response to a question a prospect asked me. Over the phone. Yes, I got a call.
On a Sunday.
A Sunday.
A hazard of the job, I guess.
An email came in from a company I sent a proposal to. Another no.
I have an error in the numbers. One in ten respond with a smile. One in 2000 actually show interest.
Damn the numbers.
Damn the numbers to hell.
I feel myself digging a deeper and deeper hole every day.
(breaking character)
Shoutout on the anon that left a comment on day 17. I'm actually having fun with my job and I'd like to think doing I'm ok with saturation, working on pipelines, building relationships, etc... Getting in touch with old friends and catching up. That and talking to all sorts of interesting people with a different story to tell is awesome. I actually wouldn't mind doing this for some time. Yeah, I think I've found a little niche in the corporate world that I actually enjoy. Its like every day is a whole new adventure. I was just out of it that one day, and this little blog was born. I'm having fun writing it so might as well continue. That being said, thanks so much for the words of encouragement. I'll keep what you said in mind and if ever I have another bad day, I'll check back to that comment. Yay! First comment!
(back in character)
Damn this life.
 |
| Not my boss |
The boss tried to sell me a condo.
Well, that's what the answer sounded like.
This was in response to a question a prospect asked me. Over the phone. Yes, I got a call.
On a Sunday.
A Sunday.
A hazard of the job, I guess.
An email came in from a company I sent a proposal to. Another no.
I have an error in the numbers. One in ten respond with a smile. One in 2000 actually show interest.
Damn the numbers.
Damn the numbers to hell.
I feel myself digging a deeper and deeper hole every day.
(breaking character)
Shoutout on the anon that left a comment on day 17. I'm actually having fun with my job and I'd like to think doing I'm ok with saturation, working on pipelines, building relationships, etc... Getting in touch with old friends and catching up. That and talking to all sorts of interesting people with a different story to tell is awesome. I actually wouldn't mind doing this for some time. Yeah, I think I've found a little niche in the corporate world that I actually enjoy. Its like every day is a whole new adventure. I was just out of it that one day, and this little blog was born. I'm having fun writing it so might as well continue. That being said, thanks so much for the words of encouragement. I'll keep what you said in mind and if ever I have another bad day, I'll check back to that comment. Yay! First comment!
(back in character)
Damn this life.
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Day 20
03/26/11 - 20 days without sale
...and 15 days after completion of basic training. If we close a sale a within a few weeks after training, we get free stuff. I want to get free stuff.
0700hrs. Its a Saturday and we're supposed to show up in the showroom. We're also encouraged to do Sundays. Weekends no longer feel like weekends. The week doesn't feel like a week. It's just a blob of time.
Natural law theory says something about how human beings need one day of rest a week in order to function as proper human beings. But we aren't human beings.
We are salespeople.
I want to go to the beach.
0835hrs. Memo came in from the boss. Internet use is restricted to work related activity. If worst comes to worst, I'm posting these from home. We aren't allowed Youtube anymore. We also have to fill up forms telling them exactly where we were during the week. I guess (insert name of reputable development company here at your convenience) is trying to get their money's worth.
My ad in the classifieds came out today. Nobody's calling.
Nobody's been answering my emails.
Nothing really going on in the office.
I should go to the beach.
1300 hrs. Going to the beach.
 |
| The Normandy landing on Jun 16, 1944. Courtesy of britannica.com. (Not the beach I'm going to) |
0700hrs. Its a Saturday and we're supposed to show up in the showroom. We're also encouraged to do Sundays. Weekends no longer feel like weekends. The week doesn't feel like a week. It's just a blob of time.
Natural law theory says something about how human beings need one day of rest a week in order to function as proper human beings. But we aren't human beings.
We are salespeople.
I want to go to the beach.
0835hrs. Memo came in from the boss. Internet use is restricted to work related activity. If worst comes to worst, I'm posting these from home. We aren't allowed Youtube anymore. We also have to fill up forms telling them exactly where we were during the week. I guess (insert name of reputable development company here at your convenience) is trying to get their money's worth.
My ad in the classifieds came out today. Nobody's calling.
Nobody's been answering my emails.
Nothing really going on in the office.
I should go to the beach.
1300 hrs. Going to the beach.
Friday, March 25, 2011
Day 19
03/25/11 - 19 days without sale
0714hrs. I'm not gonna be showing anybody around the showroom today. Should I even consider taking a shower? With all this concern over the environment, I should be saving water. Tempting.
But I suppose I should shower. I still do have that naive hope that somebody will walk in, I'll be there to assist, that person will pay in cash, kaching. The earth can wait. The world of sales moves much faster.
0852hrs. We're deployed in the field today. I shouldn't have showered.
I wasn't able to get my morning walk. This day isn't going to be too productive, I don't think.
The comedian guy from the other team is listening to big band jazz. He either closed a sale or got laid last night. They say closing your first deal is a high that keeps sales people addicted to being sales people. Its a sniper's first kill. A surgeon's first appendectomy. A lawyer's first win.
This must be why our 30 or so year old regional head looks like she's pushing 50.
I wonder if I'll ever have that kind of success one day.
Looking for leads isn't as easy as its cut out to be. The first stage in a sale is prospecting. Its tough. So damned tough. The folks higher up the ranks tell me that it gets easier once there's interest in what you're trying to sell. But getting to that point is hell. Finding the people interested.
People love to buy but hate being sold to.
My line ad still hasn't come out. I will follow it up.
The emails I send seem to be smashing against brick walls.
I still feel a little uncomfortable emailing people I don't know trying to sell them 90 cubic meters of pre-sold air.
I'm eagerly awaiting the day that I'm so desensitized that I will feel comfortable punching a random person in the face and proceed to giving him/her my business card and proceed to selling a condo.
That's when I know I'm successful. That I've made it. That's when I can loudly proclaim to the world "I am a proud employee of (insert namae of reputable development company here at your convenience)! I will kick your dog in the nuts and then proceed to sell you a condo!.
When that glorious day comes, it will be a day full of glory.
Many dogs will lose the ability to procreate and I will be rich.
1132hrs. Hungry.
No.
Not hungry for a sale. I just want to eat. Italian food sounds good right about now. Or maybe some lamb from a Greek taverna type thing Or Chinese.
Chinese it is.
1450hrs. Gonna follow up my line ad. That should take me until 5. But first some coffee.
1508hrs. Yeah. Two hours should just about do it.
 |
21 million people died from 1914 - 1918 Photo courtesy of the BBC |
But I suppose I should shower. I still do have that naive hope that somebody will walk in, I'll be there to assist, that person will pay in cash, kaching. The earth can wait. The world of sales moves much faster.
0852hrs. We're deployed in the field today. I shouldn't have showered.
I wasn't able to get my morning walk. This day isn't going to be too productive, I don't think.
The comedian guy from the other team is listening to big band jazz. He either closed a sale or got laid last night. They say closing your first deal is a high that keeps sales people addicted to being sales people. Its a sniper's first kill. A surgeon's first appendectomy. A lawyer's first win.
This must be why our 30 or so year old regional head looks like she's pushing 50.
I wonder if I'll ever have that kind of success one day.
Looking for leads isn't as easy as its cut out to be. The first stage in a sale is prospecting. Its tough. So damned tough. The folks higher up the ranks tell me that it gets easier once there's interest in what you're trying to sell. But getting to that point is hell. Finding the people interested.
People love to buy but hate being sold to.
My line ad still hasn't come out. I will follow it up.
The emails I send seem to be smashing against brick walls.
I still feel a little uncomfortable emailing people I don't know trying to sell them 90 cubic meters of pre-sold air.
I'm eagerly awaiting the day that I'm so desensitized that I will feel comfortable punching a random person in the face and proceed to giving him/her my business card and proceed to selling a condo.
That's when I know I'm successful. That I've made it. That's when I can loudly proclaim to the world "I am a proud employee of (insert namae of reputable development company here at your convenience)! I will kick your dog in the nuts and then proceed to sell you a condo!.
When that glorious day comes, it will be a day full of glory.
Many dogs will lose the ability to procreate and I will be rich.
1132hrs. Hungry.
No.
Not hungry for a sale. I just want to eat. Italian food sounds good right about now. Or maybe some lamb from a Greek taverna type thing Or Chinese.
Chinese it is.
1450hrs. Gonna follow up my line ad. That should take me until 5. But first some coffee.
1508hrs. Yeah. Two hours should just about do it.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Day 18
03/24/11 - 18 days without sale
I checked the morning paper and my line ad hasn't come out yet. I'll just have to follow it up. Though I don't think it will do very much. Unless I have it run forever. Let's see if I can pull that off.
Just before 0800hrs and I'm the 4th person at the office. One of the maintenence people, the security guard, and a girl that looks like she went to sleep here.
Good morning.
Checked our team lead's desk. A number of noteworthy things. Our team is way behind in sales. Two for married girl and one for girl that affectionately calls everyone "gay friend". The other teams are actually doing really well. Lucky them. Also, we're in the field today. Which means I don't really get to do anything. Write emails to people and hope they respond.
Cast your net wide, they say.
"BUY FROM ME! 20% downpayment and the rest will be paid via bank loan."
Rather, invest with my assistance and 20% initial investment. Because "buy" and "downpayment" are such harsh words.
Here's how it looks.
"Good afternoon Ms. (insert name here at your convenience), my name is #0019 and I would like you to consider and investment in our condominium units. With an initial investment of 20% and the remaining 80% financed though one of our partner banks, we can assure low interest rates and we can guarantee your unit will be turned over to you in the first quarter of 2014. We are, after all, supported by (insert namae of reputable development company here at your convenience)."
Friends.
Family.
Friends of friends.
Friends of friends of friends of acquaintances.
Maybe someone will bite.
"I'm trying, ma'am. I really am. I'm doing the whole wordsmith of a generation thing we were taught at training."
I believe in the product. Investment in a condo is a good thing. We will save the universe.
1330hrs. Got back in from lunch. Its hot outside.
The folks over at (insert name of reputable development company here at your convenience) are making us sign forms informing them where we go when we head out into the field. A lot of my prospecting is done on the internet but the internet here is so slow. That and I wrote and sent all my emails from home last night. I didn't get much sleep.
Working on trying to get my fliers left at one of the local coffee shops. It can all be done via cellphone.
I'll tell team lead I'm meeting the owner of the coffee shop.
My ticket out of here.
1430hrs. Over and out.
#0019
Addendum: It started raining. Shit.
 |
| Courtesy of the University of Illinois |
I checked the morning paper and my line ad hasn't come out yet. I'll just have to follow it up. Though I don't think it will do very much. Unless I have it run forever. Let's see if I can pull that off.
Just before 0800hrs and I'm the 4th person at the office. One of the maintenence people, the security guard, and a girl that looks like she went to sleep here.
Good morning.
Checked our team lead's desk. A number of noteworthy things. Our team is way behind in sales. Two for married girl and one for girl that affectionately calls everyone "gay friend". The other teams are actually doing really well. Lucky them. Also, we're in the field today. Which means I don't really get to do anything. Write emails to people and hope they respond.
Cast your net wide, they say.
"BUY FROM ME! 20% downpayment and the rest will be paid via bank loan."
Rather, invest with my assistance and 20% initial investment. Because "buy" and "downpayment" are such harsh words.
Here's how it looks.
"Good afternoon Ms. (insert name here at your convenience), my name is #0019 and I would like you to consider and investment in our condominium units. With an initial investment of 20% and the remaining 80% financed though one of our partner banks, we can assure low interest rates and we can guarantee your unit will be turned over to you in the first quarter of 2014. We are, after all, supported by (insert namae of reputable development company here at your convenience)."
Friends.
Family.
Friends of friends.
Friends of friends of friends of acquaintances.
Maybe someone will bite.
"I'm trying, ma'am. I really am. I'm doing the whole wordsmith of a generation thing we were taught at training."
I believe in the product. Investment in a condo is a good thing. We will save the universe.
1330hrs. Got back in from lunch. Its hot outside.
The folks over at (insert name of reputable development company here at your convenience) are making us sign forms informing them where we go when we head out into the field. A lot of my prospecting is done on the internet but the internet here is so slow. That and I wrote and sent all my emails from home last night. I didn't get much sleep.
Working on trying to get my fliers left at one of the local coffee shops. It can all be done via cellphone.
I'll tell team lead I'm meeting the owner of the coffee shop.
My ticket out of here.
1430hrs. Over and out.
#0019
Addendum: It started raining. Shit.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Day 17
03/23/11 - 17 days without sale
My 13 hour shift last Saturday counts for nothing.
Today I begin writing my memoirs. Though I was deployed over 2 weeks ago, I only decided to start writing now. I was stupid then. Running on adrenaline and the promise of the beginnings of a fruitful career. Seventeen days in, nothing.
We are docked at the showroom today and nothing seems to be happening. Nobody really walking in and asking around. Brokers are manning the booth in the mall.
The rest of the team are either out preparing to collect their commissions, out on client calls, or bumming in the back room. I have been assigned the duty of entertaining the first walk in client. Its been 7 hours and the only person that came in was somebody that bought from a different developer. She wanted to look at our interiors because she wasn't happy with the finish of the other guys.
I asked for referrals.
Because we're in-house, I had assumed that we were going to receive preferential treatment from the company. But the brokers get the same exposure that we do. They can throw around their money more than we can. They get larger commissions.
All we get are calling cards.
Team lead expects us to submit new names every week but the pipelines have dried up.
One in every ten people show interest. Damn the numbers.
Damn the numbers.
I was able to score a line ad in one of the newspapers today. But one in ten still applies.
1700hrs. I should be going home. But our work hours are prescribed work hours more than they are actual work hours and my conscience is killing me for wanting to head out of here. If I go, I forgo any walk ins that may walk in after work.
1725hrs. Fuck it. Headed home.
#0019
 |
| Courtesy of the Daily Mail |
Today I begin writing my memoirs. Though I was deployed over 2 weeks ago, I only decided to start writing now. I was stupid then. Running on adrenaline and the promise of the beginnings of a fruitful career. Seventeen days in, nothing.
We are docked at the showroom today and nothing seems to be happening. Nobody really walking in and asking around. Brokers are manning the booth in the mall.
The rest of the team are either out preparing to collect their commissions, out on client calls, or bumming in the back room. I have been assigned the duty of entertaining the first walk in client. Its been 7 hours and the only person that came in was somebody that bought from a different developer. She wanted to look at our interiors because she wasn't happy with the finish of the other guys.
I asked for referrals.
Because we're in-house, I had assumed that we were going to receive preferential treatment from the company. But the brokers get the same exposure that we do. They can throw around their money more than we can. They get larger commissions.
All we get are calling cards.
Team lead expects us to submit new names every week but the pipelines have dried up.
One in every ten people show interest. Damn the numbers.
Damn the numbers.
I was able to score a line ad in one of the newspapers today. But one in ten still applies.
1700hrs. I should be going home. But our work hours are prescribed work hours more than they are actual work hours and my conscience is killing me for wanting to head out of here. If I go, I forgo any walk ins that may walk in after work.
1725hrs. Fuck it. Headed home.
#0019
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)