Day 140: The Project Is 90% Sold Out...

...and I'm feeling pretty useless around here.

Askar dari Malaysia.

7/29/11 - 140 days without sale

I've resorted to taking minutes of the meetings that we have around here and posting them on Facebook so that it seems like I'm doing work.

It seems to be appreciated but at the end of the day, the bosses in sales don't really give a fuck and a half about how you get your sales as long as they are there.


"You have a quota, boy!"

"I know ma'am."

"Remember, in sales, all that matter are results. Give me results!"

"Yes ma'am."

And that's that.

Sale or death.

I got myself a haircut yesterday (now I look like the douchebag I'm supposed to be) because new boss battle wants pictures of us so that he can put up an organizational chart in the office somewhere.

Just so you have an idea as to what's going on, here's kinda what the chart looks like.

Jesus

|

Super Big Boss Battle

|

Big Boss Battle

|

Boss Battle

|

Boss

|

n00b

-nothing follows-

My name is #0019

I. AM. N00B!

And my new haircut makes me look swanky.

The past week has seen a good number of Malaysians take a look at this little blog.

Apa khabar, pa?

Anda mau membeli kondo?

Apa itu? Tidak mau?

Menangis.

Day 32

04/07/11 - 32 days without sale

Golden Boys

So it looks pro, I encourage everybody to abbreviate this blog to TVLH. 

0914hrs. Team lead still hasn't arrived yet. I'm inspired to work.

I have no idea what we're going to do today. Probably field.

I received an email from big boss battle regarding a mission in an undisclosed place slated for an undisclosed time with an undisclosed number of operatives operating in the undisclosed operation.


I'm being considered for and undisclosed position in the undisclosed operation because of my undisclosed wealth of undisclosed knowledge of the undisclosed location that they refuse to disclose.

All I know is that it doesn't involve the Russians.

I think I may have said too much.

Buy air now and get a condo for free! (in two or so years)

1124hrs. So. Hungry. Yeah. Let's have lunch. Lunch is good.

1326hrs. Meeting with undisclosed party (is it the Russians or big boss battle? The plot thickens.)

1638hrs. Just got back from the meeting.

Team got into trouble because a client wasn't entertained properly. I wasn't there at the time but I'm still somehow involved. That's the way shit goes down in the real world apparently. If I were there, I would have entertained the shit out of that orphan. A song and dance number with fireworks and acrobatic contortionist elephants. I would have done that. Really.

1730hrs. Home. Coffee. Starcraft. Congratulations to Moletrap for his GSL gig.

Waiting for Nuke the Stars to release another video.

1800hrs. Sample computation time. As a sales person, one needs to know the numbers like nothing else. Its what everybody asks. I'd like to think I have it down. The numbers. Damn the numbers.

*cringe*

My laptop is my weapon and Microsoft Office is my ammo.

1825hrs. So numb. Nothing witty to say.

Ten points to anyone that says something funny.

Until next time.

Excelsior.

Day 29

04/04/11 - 29 days without sale

Douglas MacArthur
Biggest boss ever
knowledgerush.com

0729hrs. To those who play starcraft, coffee is a stim pack. Two shots. I'm so pumped. Let's go. We can do this. Make that sale.

0850hrs. Our sales head came in from the head office. So fucked. So so fucked. There goes the pumped-ness.

0915hrs. Meeting with the big boss battle guy. So so so fucked.

1013hrs. I need to talk to 200 prospects to close 1 sale. So so so so fucked. Apparently I lack confidence.



 
So now I'm pissed off. I want to punch a cow.

Sales head is pissed is region head gets the shit.

Region head passes the shit to the team lead.

Team lead passes the shit to us.

Mom is pissed at the iphone 4 so I get the shit.

Dad is pissed on the road so I get the shit.

My girlfriend is pissed so I get the shit.

2118hrs. Off to find a cow.